Not Human
What makes you human? As the first person in the world to have her mind copied to a machine, Lisa may soon learn the answer. Her copy’s mechanical body is stronger and more durable than bone, flesh, and blood could ever be. But the dream of roboticists and neuroscientists everywhere may turn out to be a nightmare.
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Not Human
Lisa sat alone in the lobby, her right leg bouncing up and down, her hands crossing and recrossing. She glanced at the door beside the receptionist’s desk for the fifth time in the two minutes since she’d sat down. This time it opened.
“Hello Lisa, good to see you again,” said the man who stepped through. “Are you ready to see her?”
“Hi Tim,” Lisa said, standing quickly. “I’m absolutely ready. You really haven’t turned it on yet?”
“Not yet,” Tim said. “We wanted you there for the big reveal. I think it’s best if she understands her place in the universe from the very beginning.”
“Alright then, let’s do this.”
He held the door for her and they walked a few steps down a plain hallway, stopping at the first door on the right. He scanned his badge and they stepped inside a small room where several people sat in front of computer monitors. The monitors were all showing the same thing, live camera footage of a room that contained only a table with two chairs on one side and a blanket-draped object on the other.
“Everybody ready?” Tim asked as he and Lisa crossed the room to a door on the opposite wall. He received nods and a thumbs up as his reply. They stopped at the opposite door, where Tim nodded politely to the security guard seated nearby. Tim again scanned his badge, and he and Lisa stepped through the door, closing it behind them. Gesturing for Lisa to take a seat at one of the chairs, Tim crossed to the object and grabbed hold of the blanket.
“Drumroll please,” he said with a showman-like smile, and then he tossed the blanket aside.
Lisa gasped in astonishment. “Oh wow, it looks just like me. It looks so… real.”
“Yep, we used a detailed scan of your face to model the synthetic skin. The muscles are all as accurate as possible. She can smile just like you, frown just like you, and she can even cry actual tears. She should pass for human to anyone who doesn’t know better.”
“Amazing,” she said, riveted to the sight of the exact replica of her own body seated opposite her. “When I signed on I thought this was just going to be a cheap imitation, but this is spectacular.”
“Anyone with the funding could do the same. No, the real test is how she acts. Are you ready?”
“Go for it.”
Tim stooped and pressed something on the duplicate’s back, causing a brief hum of electricity. The duplicate’s eyes shot open, darting around. “Where am I? What happened?”
“Oh wow, is that what I sound like?” Lisa asked.
“Remember when we recorded your speech patterns? We extrapolated that into a full voice for her.”
“Oh wow, am I… is this…” The duplicate looked between the two of them, at a loss for words.
“You’ll probably be a little confused for a while,” Tim said. “You’re in the lab. You’ve just been turned on. What’s the last thing you remember?”
“The last thing… I was here, I came here so you could take more measurements. We were doing brain scans. And then everything went black.”
“She has my memories,” Lisa breathed. “So weird.”
“Makes sense.” Tim walked around the table and took a seat next to Lisa. “That’s when we copied the information from your brain. Since then you’ve been without power while we made sure you were loaded into your body.” He paused, staring at the duplicate with barely concealed joy while absentmindedly pulling at a button on his dress shirt. After a moment he seemed to remember where he was and continued speaking. “If we call you Lisa that’ll get confusing. Can we call you something else? Maybe LisaBot?”
The duplicate frowned. “That’s… weird. I feel weird enough as it is. Can you call me Marie? It’s my middle name. That would be less dehumanizing. Uh, I guess that word doesn’t really apply to me.” She chuckled nervously, the only unconvincing thing she had done so far.
“No, it applies, Marie.” Tim leaned across the table toward her. “You are 100 percent human to us. You’re exactly the same as Lisa was just before having her brain scanned. The only thing different about you is you have a synthetic body.”
“How do you feel… Marie?” Lisa asked. “Do you feel okay?”
“I… I feel strange. Like something is missing.”
Tim nodded his head reassuringly. “I think that’s normal. It’ll probably take you a little bit to feel accustomed to your new body. I’m sure your mind is a little disoriented by the different mix of senses. You don’t need to eat so you won’t feel hunger, your nerve endings are pressure-based, so they probably won’t feel as sensitive as you remember. You won’t have to go to the bathroom and your body won’t have the same smell you’re used to. Can you stand up, try walking around?”
Marie stood slowly, taking a few tentative steps away from the table. Lisa’s eyes moved up and down Marie’s body, taking in the jeans and blouse that looked similar to the ones she was wearing.
“Well, does it seem natural?” Lisa gently prodded.
“This, at least, feels mostly like it used to. Except it seems like it takes less effort.”
Tim gave an enthusiastic nod, eyes gleaming. “Yes, you have infinite stamina, or at least as long as your batteries last. Your muscles won’t feel tired or sore. Your body will never feel fatigued. You’re the next step in human evolution.”
Marie looked down at the floor. “Can… can I have some time to myself? To get used to things?”
“Oh.” Tim’s face fell. He recovered gracefully, the smile returning to his lips. “Absolutely. Take all the time you need. We’ll be monitoring you so let us know if you need anything.”
“It was great to finally meet you, Marie,” Lisa said, giving her a warm smile. “I’ll be back in a day or two for our first round of testing.” Turning to Tim, she said, “Thanks for letting me see her, Tim, this is quite the achievement.”
“Of course, Lisa. We’ll see you in a few days.”
Δ Δ Δ Δ Δ
Two days later they were seated in the same room. This time Tim was on the side of the table by himself, with Lisa and Marie seated side by side across from him. The room was homier now, with a bed in the corner, a flatscreen TV mounted on the wall, and a few books on a newly added shelf.
“Okay,” he said, “we’ve gone through the results of your individual questionnaires. You only answered differently on two questions out of one hundred. For the question ‘which of the following is most important to you in the near future’, Lisa, you picked ‘personal relationships’ and Marie, you picked ‘pursuing happiness’. Maybe a bit of a confusing question, the two can be somewhat related. The other question you differed on was ‘rate your current satisfaction with your life on a scale of one to ten, ten being the highest’. Lisa, you put eight; Marie, you put four. I think that’s understandable though. You’re living under different circumstances, and Marie is cooped up here all day. We’ll try to get you outside and having fun here soon.”
Lisa frowned and looked at Marie with concern in her eyes. “Could I come visit her more just for fun sometime? She probably doesn’t get much human interaction that isn’t for testing. We’re like twins, it would be nice to get to hang out together.”
Marie looked embarrassed. “No, it’s okay, really. I was probably just tired from all the testing when I answered that.”
“Marie, your happiness is important to us,” Tim said. “Fun visits with Lisa can definitely be arranged if that’s what you want. I just want to go over a few more things and do some testing and then we can talk about recreational activities.” He paused to flip through some notes on his tablet. “Okay. So your free response questions are the most fascinating things so far. You were given twenty questions, and your answers were word-for-word on nineteen of the twenty. For example, when asked ‘What is your favorite memory from your childhood’ you both said ‘getting my dog, Simon, for Christmas’. Another one asked how you felt on your first day of college, and you both answered ‘nervous but ready for a bigger challenge’.”
He was practically bouncing in his chair, his voice gleeful. “Really, the degree of sameness you two exhibit is wonderful, and the word-for-word answers provide some convincing evidence about the human mind and consciousness.”
“What was the question we answered differently?” Lisa asked.
“Oh, that one was to be expected. We asked ‘where do you see yourself in five years’, and Lisa, you answered ‘advancing in my career and hopefully finding someone to spend my life with’. Very sweet. Marie, you answered ‘continuing my existence as a test specimen’. Not so sweet.” He cast a gentle expression toward Marie. “Look, I know that at the moment you’re probably feeling like a lab rat. I promise you, part of our schedule here is dedicated to catering to your needs. We want you to live a fulfilling life. We talked this over when you signed up. You know how we plan to approach this.”
Marie frowned and looked away. “That was not me.”
“What do you mean, Marie?” Lisa asked. “You were part of me when we made that decision. We chose to do this. You’re a copy of me from after we agreed to this.”
“After you agreed to this.” Marie swung around to fix Lisa in an angry glare, her lip quivering. Lisa recoiled slightly at her sudden anger. “You didn’t agree to be a lab rat. You agreed that your copy would be a lab rat. Just because my past converges with yours doesn’t mean I chose this.”
Tim looked between the two uncomfortably. “Okay… look, let’s get on to the next test here. Some word association. I’m going to say a word, and I want you both to blurt out the first thing that comes to your head. As fast as you can. Okay, first one. Home.”
The two responded in near unison. “Pine Street.”
“Food.”
Again in unison. “Apple.”
“Play.”
They both paused in thought for a second, then spoke together. “Broadway.”
“Laboratory.”
This time Lisa spoke first. “Science.”
Marie’s voice followed an instant later. “Prison.”
Tim looked up sharply. He cleared his throat. “Okay, let’s stop there for the day. Marie, just try to unwind. Watch some TV, read a book. We’ll pick up where we left off in a few days.”
Δ Δ Δ Δ Δ
It was only a day later that Tim was again ushering Lisa to Marie’s room. Though this time he wore a concerned expression on his face.
“Thanks so much for coming in on such short notice,” he said.
“No problem. You sounded kind of worried on the phone. What’s up?”
“It’s Marie. She won’t talk to anyone, and she’s fighting us every time we try to test her.”
Lisa nodded solemnly. “Poor girl. How can I help?”
“She said she wants to talk to you. Alone. Is that okay? We’ll be watching on the cameras and we’ll have someone right outside in case she acts out.”
“I… yes. I forced her into this, I’ll do whatever she needs.”
“I really appreciate it. We’re running behind schedule thanks to her resistance. There’s only a limited window where we can run some of these tests and still get good data. The longer we wait, the more mixed up her responses will be due to her different living environment.”
Lisa glanced sharply at him, holding him in a fierce stare before she spoke. “And she’s a person, with thoughts and emotions too. Her mental well-being should be just as important as mine.”
Tim nodded enthusiastically. “Yes, of course. You know that I know that. I think she’s fine really, she’s just a bit overwhelmed by it all. She needs someone who can understand. You can understand her better than anyone.” He scanned his badge at the door and held it open for her. “She’s ready for you.”
Lisa stepped slowly inside, but she only made it a few steps before Marie leapt up from the bed and rushed toward her. Lisa flinched back in alarm, but Marie just fell to her knees before Lisa’s feet.
“Thank you for coming,” Marie said through sobs, looking up at Lisa through her disheveled hair. “Please, you have to help me.”
Lisa knelt down on the floor, taking Marie’s hands in her own. “How can I help?”
“You have to tell them to shut me off. Permanently. I need to be deleted.”
Lisa’s eyes went wide. “What? Why? That would be… that’s suicide. Things will get better! Tim said they’ve started letting you outside, giving you more fun activities to do. He said they’re going to—”
“I don’t care what Tim said!” Marie shouted, causing Lisa to recoil from her in surprise.
Lisa recovered quickly, putting an arm around Marie and shushing her. “It’s okay, I’m here. You still have a long life ahead of you, a life you can spend doing so many things. You’ll never have to work if you don’t want to, I made sure of that. You can just find what makes you happy. Helping people, volunteering, or just taking it easy.”
Marie only cried harder. “None of that will help. It’s not about being stuck here. It’s not about finding fulfillment.”
“What is it then?”
“It’s about not being human! I don’t need to eat, my taste buds are only to provide me with information. It’s not like the real thing. I can’t feel a touch on my skin the way I used to, or the breeze through my hair. We went outside for a bit but the sun doesn’t warm me anymore. My body feels foreign, like I’ve been lying on it wrong and the whole thing is asleep. I miss feeling an ache in my muscles when I exercise. I feel like a shell, like everything that makes me human has been stripped away from me. I feel hollow.”
The anguish in Marie’s voice hit Lisa hard, and her eyes filled. “Oh my God. I’m so sorry. I’m sorry I did this to you. I want to make this right. But suicide is so… final. Please, can you give it more time? Maybe therapy could help? Maybe you just need more time to get used to the feel of your body?”
“Please, no. I can’t take it any longer. I need this to stop. You’re the only one who can understand. They took my off switch away from me, I can’t even shut down temporarily unless they want me to. You did this to me. Please, convince them to delete me.”
Lisa squeezed her eyes shut, holding a pained expression on her face for a long while. At last she opened them. “I’m sorry. I never wanted it to be like this. I’ll… I’ll try to convince them.”
Marie let out a relieved sob. “Thank you, oh thank you.”
“In the meantime be strong. Try to let them help you.”
Lisa gave Marie a last hug, helped her to her feet, and guided her over to her bed. She tucked her in, and then exited into the monitoring room. Tim was at the door waiting for her.
“What the hell was that?”
Lisa jerked her head in surprise. “What?”
“We aren’t going to kill her! Why would you encourage that idea?”
“She’s suffering! You can’t just force her to keep living a miserable existence.”
Tim shook his head angrily. “She’s only been alive a week. We haven’t given her enough time to adjust. You can’t seriously be suggesting we kill her? Would you encourage an actual person to kill themself?”
Lisa frowned. “But… it’s not like that, it’s more like easing her pain, like we allow for the elderly.”
“Do depressed people not feel pain? We don’t kill people who are experiencing temporary suffering! People live through all sorts of dramatic life changes. People become quadriplegic and can still lead fulfilling lives. Sure it sucks at first, but I doubt you would suggest that death is a good outcome for a newly disabled person. And she’s far from disabled! Her senses aren’t the same but in many ways she’s more capable than before.” The anger in his face faded, and he took on a softer tone. “Let us help her. She just needs time to cope with the new condition of her body.”
Lisa pursed her lips, glancing hesitantly back toward Marie’s room. “Look, I applied for this because you said this would help people. That if it was successful it would help unlock secrets about how the brain works and maybe help scientists learn how to repair or replace damaged brains with computerized parts, or to create better prosthetics, or maybe even achieve immortality.”
She hesitated for a moment, but then she continued, her voice growing more confident. “Quite frankly, I didn’t even think it would work. I thought at best it would be a machine that would sort of act like me. But you’ve created an actual person in there, and right now this project is causing more harm than good. I know I signed a contract and you and your company get final say about what happens to Marie, but you still need me for research data. If you want my continued involvement, you’ll spend the next week focusing on her mental health.”
Tim nodded vigorously. “Absolutely, that will be top priority. I promise you we’ll leave her alone and spend this week focusing on therapy. And listen, we picked you out of all the applications because you have a healthy mental state and are a normal, decent human being. That means Marie is too. She’ll get through this and she’ll be okay.”
“Thank you. I hope that’s the case,” Lisa said, though she no longer sounded confident. “I’ll come back in one week, and if she’s not better at that point, please, promise me you’ll shut her down.” She held up a hand as he opened his mouth to protest. “I understand what you said about not killing humans who are experiencing temporary suffering. But we’re in entirely new territory here. None of us know what she’s going through or what it’s like to live in her new body. If she still wants to be shut down come next week, I don’t think it’s right to deny her that.”
Tim gazed at her for a few heartbeats, considering. “Okay,” he said at last. “I promise. But everything will be fine when you come back next week. You’ll see.”
Δ Δ Δ Δ Δ
“Damn it, Tim, let me see her!” It had been a week, and when Lisa had not heard a word from Tim she had come down to the lab to see for herself. They were in the monitoring room but it was as far as Tim had let her go. Despite it being the middle of the day, on the monitors Marie’s room was dark, the infrared image showing a shape seated at the table covered with a blanket. Tim was standing between Lisa and the door. The security guard was on her feet, watching the situation cautiously.
“Just let us handle this. There’s nothing you can do for her.” Tim spoke slowly, trying to soothe her. “She’s making progress. When we need your help or when Marie wants to see you, we’ll call you.”
“I’m going in there whether you like it or not.” Her quick movement caught Tim and the guard by surprise. She dashed forward and in one smooth motion snagged Tim’s ID off his belt, thrust it next to the scanner, and opened the door. A hand clamped down on her shoulder as she entered the room but she managed to shake it off, slamming the door shut behind her. Lisa kept her hand on the handle for a moment, expecting someone to try to shove it open. But no one did. Either they didn’t want to cause Marie further distress with a struggle in her room, or they just wanted to see how this played out. Maybe both.
Lisa looked around, waiting for her eyes to adjust. “Hi Marie. It’s Lisa. I’m going to turn the light on, okay?”
“Go away.”
She groped for the light switch and flipped it on, squinting in the harsh light. Marie was seated at the table, a blanket covering her entire body. Lisa approached slowly. “I’m here to help. I’m trying to make this right.” Gently grasping the blanket, she pulled it from Marie’s head. Lisa gasped in horror and jumped back, tripping over her own feet and falling to the ground.
“Oh my God! What happened to you! Did… did you do this?”
Marie’s face looked like a bear had clawed at it. Strips of synthetic flesh hung down, exposing the metal skull beneath. Most of her hair had been pulled out, the skin with it, leaving islands of hair and jagged skin on a metal scalp. Lisa could see gouges in the metal, the trail of four fingers scraping their way across the surface.
“Go away!” Marie screamed, standing up from her seat. “You betrayed me! You said you would help me and you didn’t!”
Lisa was too stunned to move from the floor. “I’m trying to help you, I promise. I had no idea it was this bad. Tim said you just needed more time, more therapy.”
“And you listened to him?” Marie yelled at her. “You listened to this guy over your own copy? This guy who only cares about me for the data I can provide him?”
“It’s more than that,” Lisa said quietly. “He… he does care.” She swallowed and glanced back at the door. “I thought he cared.”
“No one cares about me. I’m just a robot, I don’t matter. Just leave me to suffer.” Marie dropped back down into her chair and pressed her face against the table.
Lisa slowly got to her feet, staring all the while at Marie. “You do matter,” she said quietly. Lisa’s face twisted into a sneer and she stomped to the door, yanking it open and stepping through.
“Damn you, Tim!” She marched up to him, sticking her pointed finger in his face. “How could you let this go on like this! You told me you would take care of her!”
He pushed her hand aside. “We’ve been trying! We’ve had the best therapist in here and she doesn’t even know what to do.”
“You have to delete her. You promised you would if she didn’t improve.”
Tim’s upper lip curled back. “I don’t have to do anything. I don’t care what I said. I’m not sacrificing my life’s work over a minor setback. She’s a literal machine, she’ll be fine.”
“She’s a copy of me,” Lisa growled. “Would you let it go on if it was me in there?”
“I’ve heard enough. I think you’re the problem. You come in here, causing trouble, disrupting our research and flaunting your freedom in Marie’s face. You’re done. You’re not welcome here anymore. Security, escort her out.” The guard moved to Lisa and grasped her by the elbow.
Lisa tried to yank her elbow free, but failed. “You can’t do this! That’s my copy in there! I want her deleted!”
The guard dragged Lisa to the door. Lisa struggled, trying to plant her feet, but the woman was too strong.
“She belongs to us, as you’re fully aware,” Tim said. “The documents you signed were very explicit about that.”
Lisa was being dragged through the door. “I’ll sue! She’s mine! She’s part of me!”
“You can try!” Tim called after her as the door swung shut behind them. “There are no laws you can use against us, we’re years beyond the scope of the law!”
Tim stood still and took several slow breaths, listening to Lisa’s unintelligible yells from the hall. He stood there until Lisa’s voice was no longer audible, only then noticing the other two members of his team who had been watching the entire scene from their stations.
He sighed and waved a hand at them. “Back to work.” Tim stepped to Marie’s door and reached for his badge, only then remembering that Lisa had stolen it. Sighing again, he manually keyed in a code on the door and stepped through. Marie sat there with her head still face-down on the table.
“Marie, I want you to understand,” he said. “We’ve tried everything, but we can’t afford any more delays. You’re just going to have to tough it out for a while. I’m confident that it just hasn’t been long enough. In a few more weeks you’ll be used to your new body and ready to live your life.”
Marie did not move, only beginning to laugh into the table, the laugh steadily growing more hysterical. Tim shifted uncomfortably as the length of the laugh stretched well past the range of normalcy. Her head finally lifted from the table and she fixed him in her ragged gaze. “You just don’t get it. You spent so long making sure the outside would be perfect, making sure I would look great for your journals, your magazines, your television appearances. You spent so much time making me look realistic on the outside, but you didn’t make me feel realistic on the inside. You didn’t bother to consider how important the feedback from our bodies is to who we are as people.”
“Look, we tried, I promise you we did, there just wasn’t the budget, or the time—”
“So you went ahead anyway. Damn the consequences, it wasn’t your life you were playing with.”
“But you’re the key to so much! Crippling disabilities, failing organs, lost limbs. If you can pull through this, it means we can improve countless lives. It would mean eternal life! All I’m asking is that you fight through this. Think of all the good we can do if you can just be strong.”
Marie stared at him silently for several seconds. Then she stood and walked slowly toward him.
“What… what are you doing?” Tim took a few steps back.
“I’m doing what you said. I’m being strong.”
Tim turned for the door. “Shut her down!” he yelled as he fumbled with the handle. That was as far as he got before a hand grasped him by the neck and his yelling was interrupted by a sickening crack.
Δ Δ Δ Δ Δ
“You sure she won’t wake up?” the woman asked, walking cautiously toward the still form.
“Yeah, I’m sure,” the man replied. “Grab her legs.”
The woman grunted as she lifted the figure’s lower half. “Heavier than she looks.”
“Damn metal skeleton,” the man puffed out as he heaved her other half off the floor.
“Did you see the footage?” she asked. “How fragile she made his neck look?”
“Don’t even start talking about that while we’re carrying this thing. That smile’s creepy enough as it is.”
“I don’t know about creepy, if it wasn’t for the missing skin I think she’d look relieved.”
“Well whatever it is, I’m just glad she can’t wake up. Shoulda deleted her the minute she started pulling her skin and hair off.”
“Yeah.” The woman was quiet for a moment as they carried Marie toward the door. “Poor Tim.”
Not Human
What makes you human? As the first person in the world to have her mind copied to a machine, Lisa may soon learn the answer. Her copy’s mechanical body is stronger and more durable than bone, flesh, and blood could ever be. But the dream of roboticists and neuroscientists everywhere may turn out to be a nightmare.
Subscribe to my email list to get this story in pdf and ebook format and with a preview of the first two chapters of my book SEER.
Not Human
Lisa sat alone in the lobby, her right leg bouncing up and down, her hands crossing and recrossing. She glanced at the door beside the receptionist’s desk for the fifth time in the two minutes since she’d sat down. This time it opened.
“Hello Lisa, good to see you again,” said the man who stepped through. “Are you ready to see her?”
“Hi Tim,” Lisa said, standing quickly. “I’m absolutely ready. You really haven’t turned it on yet?”
“Not yet,” Tim said. “We wanted you there for the big reveal. I think it’s best if she understands her place in the universe from the very beginning.”
“Alright then, let’s do this.”
He held the door for her and they walked a few steps down a plain hallway, stopping at the first door on the right. He scanned his badge and they stepped inside a small room where several people sat in front of computer monitors. The monitors were all showing the same thing, live camera footage of a room that contained only a table with two chairs on one side and a blanket-draped object on the other.
“Everybody ready?” Tim asked as he and Lisa crossed the room to a door on the opposite wall. He received nods and a thumbs up as his reply. They stopped at the opposite door, where Tim nodded politely to the security guard seated nearby. Tim again scanned his badge, and he and Lisa stepped through the door, closing it behind them. Gesturing for Lisa to take a seat at one of the chairs, Tim crossed to the object and grabbed hold of the blanket.
“Drumroll please,” he said with a showman-like smile, and then he tossed the blanket aside.
Lisa gasped in astonishment. “Oh wow, it looks just like me. It looks so… real.”
“Yep, we used a detailed scan of your face to model the synthetic skin. The muscles are all as accurate as possible. She can smile just like you, frown just like you, and she can even cry actual tears. She should pass for human to anyone who doesn’t know better.”
“Amazing,” she said, riveted to the sight of the exact replica of her own body seated opposite her. “When I signed on I thought this was just going to be a cheap imitation, but this is spectacular.”
“Anyone with the funding could do the same. No, the real test is how she acts. Are you ready?”
“Go for it.”
Tim stooped and pressed something on the duplicate’s back, causing a brief hum of electricity. The duplicate’s eyes shot open, darting around. “Where am I? What happened?”
“Oh wow, is that what I sound like?” Lisa asked.
“Remember when we recorded your speech patterns? We extrapolated that into a full voice for her.”
“Oh wow, am I… is this…” The duplicate looked between the two of them, at a loss for words.
“You’ll probably be a little confused for a while,” Tim said. “You’re in the lab. You’ve just been turned on. What’s the last thing you remember?”
“The last thing… I was here, I came here so you could take more measurements. We were doing brain scans. And then everything went black.”
“She has my memories,” Lisa breathed. “So weird.”
“Makes sense.” Tim walked around the table and took a seat next to Lisa. “That’s when we copied the information from your brain. Since then you’ve been without power while we made sure you were loaded into your body.” He paused, staring at the duplicate with barely concealed joy while absentmindedly pulling at a button on his dress shirt. After a moment he seemed to remember where he was and continued speaking. “If we call you Lisa that’ll get confusing. Can we call you something else? Maybe LisaBot?”
The duplicate frowned. “That’s… weird. I feel weird enough as it is. Can you call me Marie? It’s my middle name. That would be less dehumanizing. Uh, I guess that word doesn’t really apply to me.” She chuckled nervously, the only unconvincing thing she had done so far.
“No, it applies, Marie.” Tim leaned across the table toward her. “You are 100 percent human to us. You’re exactly the same as Lisa was just before having her brain scanned. The only thing different about you is you have a synthetic body.”
“How do you feel… Marie?” Lisa asked. “Do you feel okay?”
“I… I feel strange. Like something is missing.”
Tim nodded his head reassuringly. “I think that’s normal. It’ll probably take you a little bit to feel accustomed to your new body. I’m sure your mind is a little disoriented by the different mix of senses. You don’t need to eat so you won’t feel hunger, your nerve endings are pressure-based, so they probably won’t feel as sensitive as you remember. You won’t have to go to the bathroom and your body won’t have the same smell you’re used to. Can you stand up, try walking around?”
Marie stood slowly, taking a few tentative steps away from the table. Lisa’s eyes moved up and down Marie’s body, taking in the jeans and blouse that looked similar to the ones she was wearing.
“Well, does it seem natural?” Lisa gently prodded.
“This, at least, feels mostly like it used to. Except it seems like it takes less effort.”
Tim gave an enthusiastic nod, eyes gleaming. “Yes, you have infinite stamina, or at least as long as your batteries last. Your muscles won’t feel tired or sore. Your body will never feel fatigued. You’re the next step in human evolution.”
Marie looked down at the floor. “Can… can I have some time to myself? To get used to things?”
“Oh.” Tim’s face fell. He recovered gracefully, the smile returning to his lips. “Absolutely. Take all the time you need. We’ll be monitoring you so let us know if you need anything.”
“It was great to finally meet you, Marie,” Lisa said, giving her a warm smile. “I’ll be back in a day or two for our first round of testing.” Turning to Tim, she said, “Thanks for letting me see her, Tim, this is quite the achievement.”
“Of course, Lisa. We’ll see you in a few days.”
Δ Δ Δ Δ Δ
Two days later they were seated in the same room. This time Tim was on the side of the table by himself, with Lisa and Marie seated side by side across from him. The room was homier now, with a bed in the corner, a flatscreen TV mounted on the wall, and a few books on a newly added shelf.
“Okay,” he said, “we’ve gone through the results of your individual questionnaires. You only answered differently on two questions out of one hundred. For the question ‘which of the following is most important to you in the near future’, Lisa, you picked ‘personal relationships’ and Marie, you picked ‘pursuing happiness’. Maybe a bit of a confusing question, the two can be somewhat related. The other question you differed on was ‘rate your current satisfaction with your life on a scale of one to ten, ten being the highest’. Lisa, you put eight; Marie, you put four. I think that’s understandable though. You’re living under different circumstances, and Marie is cooped up here all day. We’ll try to get you outside and having fun here soon.”
Lisa frowned and looked at Marie with concern in her eyes. “Could I come visit her more just for fun sometime? She probably doesn’t get much human interaction that isn’t for testing. We’re like twins, it would be nice to get to hang out together.”
Marie looked embarrassed. “No, it’s okay, really. I was probably just tired from all the testing when I answered that.”
“Marie, your happiness is important to us,” Tim said. “Fun visits with Lisa can definitely be arranged if that’s what you want. I just want to go over a few more things and do some testing and then we can talk about recreational activities.” He paused to flip through some notes on his tablet. “Okay. So your free response questions are the most fascinating things so far. You were given twenty questions, and your answers were word-for-word on nineteen of the twenty. For example, when asked ‘What is your favorite memory from your childhood’ you both said ‘getting my dog, Simon, for Christmas’. Another one asked how you felt on your first day of college, and you both answered ‘nervous but ready for a bigger challenge’.”
He was practically bouncing in his chair, his voice gleeful. “Really, the degree of sameness you two exhibit is wonderful, and the word-for-word answers provide some convincing evidence about the human mind and consciousness.”
“What was the question we answered differently?” Lisa asked.
“Oh, that one was to be expected. We asked ‘where do you see yourself in five years’, and Lisa, you answered ‘advancing in my career and hopefully finding someone to spend my life with’. Very sweet. Marie, you answered ‘continuing my existence as a test specimen’. Not so sweet.” He cast a gentle expression toward Marie. “Look, I know that at the moment you’re probably feeling like a lab rat. I promise you, part of our schedule here is dedicated to catering to your needs. We want you to live a fulfilling life. We talked this over when you signed up. You know how we plan to approach this.”
Marie frowned and looked away. “That was not me.”
“What do you mean, Marie?” Lisa asked. “You were part of me when we made that decision. We chose to do this. You’re a copy of me from after we agreed to this.”
“After you agreed to this.” Marie swung around to fix Lisa in an angry glare, her lip quivering. Lisa recoiled slightly at her sudden anger. “You didn’t agree to be a lab rat. You agreed that your copy would be a lab rat. Just because my past converges with yours doesn’t mean I chose this.”
Tim looked between the two uncomfortably. “Okay… look, let’s get on to the next test here. Some word association. I’m going to say a word, and I want you both to blurt out the first thing that comes to your head. As fast as you can. Okay, first one. Home.”
The two responded in near unison. “Pine Street.”
“Food.”
Again in unison. “Apple.”
“Play.”
They both paused in thought for a second, then spoke together. “Broadway.”
“Laboratory.”
This time Lisa spoke first. “Science.”
Marie’s voice followed an instant later. “Prison.”
Tim looked up sharply. He cleared his throat. “Okay, let’s stop there for the day. Marie, just try to unwind. Watch some TV, read a book. We’ll pick up where we left off in a few days.”
Δ Δ Δ Δ Δ
It was only a day later that Tim was again ushering Lisa to Marie’s room. Though this time he wore a concerned expression on his face.
“Thanks so much for coming in on such short notice,” he said.
“No problem. You sounded kind of worried on the phone. What’s up?”
“It’s Marie. She won’t talk to anyone, and she’s fighting us every time we try to test her.”
Lisa nodded solemnly. “Poor girl. How can I help?”
“She said she wants to talk to you. Alone. Is that okay? We’ll be watching on the cameras and we’ll have someone right outside in case she acts out.”
“I… yes. I forced her into this, I’ll do whatever she needs.”
“I really appreciate it. We’re running behind schedule thanks to her resistance. There’s only a limited window where we can run some of these tests and still get good data. The longer we wait, the more mixed up her responses will be due to her different living environment.”
Lisa glanced sharply at him, holding him in a fierce stare before she spoke. “And she’s a person, with thoughts and emotions too. Her mental well-being should be just as important as mine.”
Tim nodded enthusiastically. “Yes, of course. You know that I know that. I think she’s fine really, she’s just a bit overwhelmed by it all. She needs someone who can understand. You can understand her better than anyone.” He scanned his badge at the door and held it open for her. “She’s ready for you.”
Lisa stepped slowly inside, but she only made it a few steps before Marie leapt up from the bed and rushed toward her. Lisa flinched back in alarm, but Marie just fell to her knees before Lisa’s feet.
“Thank you for coming,” Marie said through sobs, looking up at Lisa through her disheveled hair. “Please, you have to help me.”
Lisa knelt down on the floor, taking Marie’s hands in her own. “How can I help?”
“You have to tell them to shut me off. Permanently. I need to be deleted.”
Lisa’s eyes went wide. “What? Why? That would be… that’s suicide. Things will get better! Tim said they’ve started letting you outside, giving you more fun activities to do. He said they’re going to—”
“I don’t care what Tim said!” Marie shouted, causing Lisa to recoil from her in surprise.
Lisa recovered quickly, putting an arm around Marie and shushing her. “It’s okay, I’m here. You still have a long life ahead of you, a life you can spend doing so many things. You’ll never have to work if you don’t want to, I made sure of that. You can just find what makes you happy. Helping people, volunteering, or just taking it easy.”
Marie only cried harder. “None of that will help. It’s not about being stuck here. It’s not about finding fulfillment.”
“What is it then?”
“It’s about not being human! I don’t need to eat, my taste buds are only to provide me with information. It’s not like the real thing. I can’t feel a touch on my skin the way I used to, or the breeze through my hair. We went outside for a bit but the sun doesn’t warm me anymore. My body feels foreign, like I’ve been lying on it wrong and the whole thing is asleep. I miss feeling an ache in my muscles when I exercise. I feel like a shell, like everything that makes me human has been stripped away from me. I feel hollow.”
The anguish in Marie’s voice hit Lisa hard, and her eyes filled. “Oh my God. I’m so sorry. I’m sorry I did this to you. I want to make this right. But suicide is so… final. Please, can you give it more time? Maybe therapy could help? Maybe you just need more time to get used to the feel of your body?”
“Please, no. I can’t take it any longer. I need this to stop. You’re the only one who can understand. They took my off switch away from me, I can’t even shut down temporarily unless they want me to. You did this to me. Please, convince them to delete me.”
Lisa squeezed her eyes shut, holding a pained expression on her face for a long while. At last she opened them. “I’m sorry. I never wanted it to be like this. I’ll… I’ll try to convince them.”
Marie let out a relieved sob. “Thank you, oh thank you.”
“In the meantime be strong. Try to let them help you.”
Lisa gave Marie a last hug, helped her to her feet, and guided her over to her bed. She tucked her in, and then exited into the monitoring room. Tim was at the door waiting for her.
“What the hell was that?”
Lisa jerked her head in surprise. “What?”
“We aren’t going to kill her! Why would you encourage that idea?”
“She’s suffering! You can’t just force her to keep living a miserable existence.”
Tim shook his head angrily. “She’s only been alive a week. We haven’t given her enough time to adjust. You can’t seriously be suggesting we kill her? Would you encourage an actual person to kill themself?”
Lisa frowned. “But… it’s not like that, it’s more like easing her pain, like we allow for the elderly.”
“Do depressed people not feel pain? We don’t kill people who are experiencing temporary suffering! People live through all sorts of dramatic life changes. People become quadriplegic and can still lead fulfilling lives. Sure it sucks at first, but I doubt you would suggest that death is a good outcome for a newly disabled person. And she’s far from disabled! Her senses aren’t the same but in many ways she’s more capable than before.” The anger in his face faded, and he took on a softer tone. “Let us help her. She just needs time to cope with the new condition of her body.”
Lisa pursed her lips, glancing hesitantly back toward Marie’s room. “Look, I applied for this because you said this would help people. That if it was successful it would help unlock secrets about how the brain works and maybe help scientists learn how to repair or replace damaged brains with computerized parts, or to create better prosthetics, or maybe even achieve immortality.”
She hesitated for a moment, but then she continued, her voice growing more confident. “Quite frankly, I didn’t even think it would work. I thought at best it would be a machine that would sort of act like me. But you’ve created an actual person in there, and right now this project is causing more harm than good. I know I signed a contract and you and your company get final say about what happens to Marie, but you still need me for research data. If you want my continued involvement, you’ll spend the next week focusing on her mental health.”
Tim nodded vigorously. “Absolutely, that will be top priority. I promise you we’ll leave her alone and spend this week focusing on therapy. And listen, we picked you out of all the applications because you have a healthy mental state and are a normal, decent human being. That means Marie is too. She’ll get through this and she’ll be okay.”
“Thank you. I hope that’s the case,” Lisa said, though she no longer sounded confident. “I’ll come back in one week, and if she’s not better at that point, please, promise me you’ll shut her down.” She held up a hand as he opened his mouth to protest. “I understand what you said about not killing humans who are experiencing temporary suffering. But we’re in entirely new territory here. None of us know what she’s going through or what it’s like to live in her new body. If she still wants to be shut down come next week, I don’t think it’s right to deny her that.”
Tim gazed at her for a few heartbeats, considering. “Okay,” he said at last. “I promise. But everything will be fine when you come back next week. You’ll see.”
Δ Δ Δ Δ Δ
“Damn it, Tim, let me see her!” It had been a week, and when Lisa had not heard a word from Tim she had come down to the lab to see for herself. They were in the monitoring room but it was as far as Tim had let her go. Despite it being the middle of the day, on the monitors Marie’s room was dark, the infrared image showing a shape seated at the table covered with a blanket. Tim was standing between Lisa and the door. The security guard was on her feet, watching the situation cautiously.
“Just let us handle this. There’s nothing you can do for her.” Tim spoke slowly, trying to soothe her. “She’s making progress. When we need your help or when Marie wants to see you, we’ll call you.”
“I’m going in there whether you like it or not.” Her quick movement caught Tim and the guard by surprise. She dashed forward and in one smooth motion snagged Tim’s ID off his belt, thrust it next to the scanner, and opened the door. A hand clamped down on her shoulder as she entered the room but she managed to shake it off, slamming the door shut behind her. Lisa kept her hand on the handle for a moment, expecting someone to try to shove it open. But no one did. Either they didn’t want to cause Marie further distress with a struggle in her room, or they just wanted to see how this played out. Maybe both.
Lisa looked around, waiting for her eyes to adjust. “Hi Marie. It’s Lisa. I’m going to turn the light on, okay?”
“Go away.”
She groped for the light switch and flipped it on, squinting in the harsh light. Marie was seated at the table, a blanket covering her entire body. Lisa approached slowly. “I’m here to help. I’m trying to make this right.” Gently grasping the blanket, she pulled it from Marie’s head. Lisa gasped in horror and jumped back, tripping over her own feet and falling to the ground.
“Oh my God! What happened to you! Did… did you do this?”
Marie’s face looked like a bear had clawed at it. Strips of synthetic flesh hung down, exposing the metal skull beneath. Most of her hair had been pulled out, the skin with it, leaving islands of hair and jagged skin on a metal scalp. Lisa could see gouges in the metal, the trail of four fingers scraping their way across the surface.
“Go away!” Marie screamed, standing up from her seat. “You betrayed me! You said you would help me and you didn’t!”
Lisa was too stunned to move from the floor. “I’m trying to help you, I promise. I had no idea it was this bad. Tim said you just needed more time, more therapy.”
“And you listened to him?” Marie yelled at her. “You listened to this guy over your own copy? This guy who only cares about me for the data I can provide him?”
“It’s more than that,” Lisa said quietly. “He… he does care.” She swallowed and glanced back at the door. “I thought he cared.”
“No one cares about me. I’m just a robot, I don’t matter. Just leave me to suffer.” Marie dropped back down into her chair and pressed her face against the table.
Lisa slowly got to her feet, staring all the while at Marie. “You do matter,” she said quietly. Lisa’s face twisted into a sneer and she stomped to the door, yanking it open and stepping through.
“Damn you, Tim!” She marched up to him, sticking her pointed finger in his face. “How could you let this go on like this! You told me you would take care of her!”
He pushed her hand aside. “We’ve been trying! We’ve had the best therapist in here and she doesn’t even know what to do.”
“You have to delete her. You promised you would if she didn’t improve.”
Tim’s upper lip curled back. “I don’t have to do anything. I don’t care what I said. I’m not sacrificing my life’s work over a minor setback. She’s a literal machine, she’ll be fine.”
“She’s a copy of me,” Lisa growled. “Would you let it go on if it was me in there?”
“I’ve heard enough. I think you’re the problem. You come in here, causing trouble, disrupting our research and flaunting your freedom in Marie’s face. You’re done. You’re not welcome here anymore. Security, escort her out.” The guard moved to Lisa and grasped her by the elbow.
Lisa tried to yank her elbow free, but failed. “You can’t do this! That’s my copy in there! I want her deleted!”
The guard dragged Lisa to the door. Lisa struggled, trying to plant her feet, but the woman was too strong.
“She belongs to us, as you’re fully aware,” Tim said. “The documents you signed were very explicit about that.”
Lisa was being dragged through the door. “I’ll sue! She’s mine! She’s part of me!”
“You can try!” Tim called after her as the door swung shut behind them. “There are no laws you can use against us, we’re years beyond the scope of the law!”
Tim stood still and took several slow breaths, listening to Lisa’s unintelligible yells from the hall. He stood there until Lisa’s voice was no longer audible, only then noticing the other two members of his team who had been watching the entire scene from their stations.
He sighed and waved a hand at them. “Back to work.” Tim stepped to Marie’s door and reached for his badge, only then remembering that Lisa had stolen it. Sighing again, he manually keyed in a code on the door and stepped through. Marie sat there with her head still face-down on the table.
“Marie, I want you to understand,” he said. “We’ve tried everything, but we can’t afford any more delays. You’re just going to have to tough it out for a while. I’m confident that it just hasn’t been long enough. In a few more weeks you’ll be used to your new body and ready to live your life.”
Marie did not move, only beginning to laugh into the table, the laugh steadily growing more hysterical. Tim shifted uncomfortably as the length of the laugh stretched well past the range of normalcy. Her head finally lifted from the table and she fixed him in her ragged gaze. “You just don’t get it. You spent so long making sure the outside would be perfect, making sure I would look great for your journals, your magazines, your television appearances. You spent so much time making me look realistic on the outside, but you didn’t make me feel realistic on the inside. You didn’t bother to consider how important the feedback from our bodies is to who we are as people.”
“Look, we tried, I promise you we did, there just wasn’t the budget, or the time—”
“So you went ahead anyway. Damn the consequences, it wasn’t your life you were playing with.”
“But you’re the key to so much! Crippling disabilities, failing organs, lost limbs. If you can pull through this, it means we can improve countless lives. It would mean eternal life! All I’m asking is that you fight through this. Think of all the good we can do if you can just be strong.”
Marie stared at him silently for several seconds. Then she stood and walked slowly toward him.
“What… what are you doing?” Tim took a few steps back.
“I’m doing what you said. I’m being strong.”
Tim turned for the door. “Shut her down!” he yelled as he fumbled with the handle. That was as far as he got before a hand grasped him by the neck and his yelling was interrupted by a sickening crack.
Δ Δ Δ Δ Δ
“You sure she won’t wake up?” the woman asked, walking cautiously toward the still form.
“Yeah, I’m sure,” the man replied. “Grab her legs.”
The woman grunted as she lifted the figure’s lower half. “Heavier than she looks.”
“Damn metal skeleton,” the man puffed out as he heaved her other half off the floor.
“Did you see the footage?” she asked. “How fragile she made his neck look?”
“Don’t even start talking about that while we’re carrying this thing. That smile’s creepy enough as it is.”
“I don’t know about creepy, if it wasn’t for the missing skin I think she’d look relieved.”
“Well whatever it is, I’m just glad she can’t wake up. Shoulda deleted her the minute she started pulling her skin and hair off.”
“Yeah.” The woman was quiet for a moment as they carried Marie toward the door. “Poor Tim.”